"STILLNESS"

(when darkness and silence becomes your safe space)

I THINK, ONE OF THE HARDEST THING TO OVERCOME as someone who has difficulty making new friends is being insecure and jealous if your friends hang out with their other friend group.

Like you made yourself believe that since you've had trouble sustaining friendships and you finally met one, there's this tendency to be selfish and possessive. When you see them having fun without you, you get hurt, rejected, and ignored. Which is valid because, for the longest time, all you are familiar with is being alone.

But over the years, we realize that when you get comfortable being alone, there's peace. No one to judge you; no standard to meet. You just simply exist and be yourself in your imagination, in your fantasyland. When you are able to see its value, you will never allow other people to disturb you peace anymore. You slowly widen your understanding that you're not the only one with whom your friends can hang out. You'll soon accept the fact that they have life outside your friendship. AND THAT'S OKAY!

The thought of being alone.. having only a handful of friends... the darkness... silence... all of these doesn't seem bad at all. In fact, sometimes you'll be surprised that these things can be your safe space.

But remember to not stop there. You should allow yourself to discover new things. Maybe it is time to visit the things you enjoyed before. What are the things you put on hold because you prioritize earning just to survive? What are the places you wish to go? Are there any foods you are craving for? Do you have any old friends you haven't talk to in a while?

The reality is, there's more to life than the friendship you currently have. There's billions of people you haven't met yet, each with different and interesting stories to tell. And maybe by opening yourself to new experiences, you might learn a thing or two from it.

And that's what life is supposed to be. 😍