"I WAS HERE"

(my experience at the Blessed Sacrament)

It was the second day of the Feast Conference. All the lights are turned off. Our knees are touching the ground, our eyes are closed, and there is silence everywhere. Suddenly, the music started to play, and a soft hymn slowly filled the air. I prepared myself, allowing the Holy Spirit to enter my heart as the Blessed Sacrament paraded around the venue.

It was time again to give adoration to the One who was indeed present at that moment. It was majestic, and I still can't believe that the King of all Kings is just in front of me.

As we continue to say our prayers, both as a community and on a personal level, I wasn't really expecting any "grand" things to happen. All I'm praying is the usual line that I tell my God. Say sorry for all the sins I've committed, and say thank you for all the blessings that He has given me and the hurts that He allowed to happen. After which, as I ran out of words, I ended up just praising His Name, lifting His Name up, and professing His glory.

Suddenly, all my past hurts start to play back in my mind. I once again saw the times that I was betrayed, rejected, and drowned in my depression. Those memories flashed in my head so fast, as if you're watching a video in fast forward.

As I remember all of those scenes continuing to pass by, I hear a voice. It wasn't like someone went up to my ear and whispered. All I knew was that it was loud and clear. It was JESUS.

And the words that He told me?

"I WAS HERE."

As I put all the pieces together, I knew what He meant. As He shows me those moments of me being left out, abandoned, depressed, rejected, and betrayed, He is like telling me:

"Neon, remember this time you're crying alone in your room? I WAS HERE. The time when you don't know where to turn to, I WAS HERE. How about the time when you have to cover your mouth when you cry so that no one will hear you? I WAS HERE."

Right there and then, I can't handle my tears anymore. It escaped my eyes, flowed to my cheeks, and fell into my lap. I felt God. I was reminded that He never once left my side, and He never abandoned me. All this time, I was NOT ALONE. HE WAS THERE.

As the adoration came to a close, my friend patted my back to console me. I smile, still with tears in my eyes. But it was no longer a cry of pain but tears of comfort and reassurance.

I'm lost for words Lord. THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE.. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!

(photo courtesy of Katoliko Ako/I Am Catholic fb page)

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