"NOCHE BUENA(S)" pt.1

(A different kind of Christmas)

THE PHILIPPINES is the only country who celebrates Christmas as early as September. When the "BER"-months starts, for sure you will again hear the voices of Jose Marie Chan and Mariah Carey. Malls will start decorating their shops with ornaments for the holiday and some will already display Christmas-themed items in their windows but I really never felt the so-called "Christmas Spirit" until December when our neighbors begin to hang their parols and wrap their gates with colorful lights. And instead of feeling the good vibes of this holiday, I tend to remain more quiet. Sometimes more reflective than ever. While most of my officemates are excited for the holiday break so that they can spend time with their families, the reason for my excitement is just to sleep longer and not being bothered by my alarm clock. This "boring" or "dull" attitude of mine towards Christmas has been with me for the past 19 years. Almost two decades of letting the Christmas pass by - just like an ordinary day.

Christmas Past

As I ask myself why I'm always feeling lonely during Christmas, the most vivid memory that I can remember is way back 2010 wherein I just woke up on Christmas Day realizing that almost all my family members went to Baguio to celebrate and I just left alone in the house with a companion. I can still remember looking around the house at 6 in the morning noticing all bedrooms were locked and as I sit, I can hear the soft, cold breeze of the air as I slowly accept the reality that I really don't have anyone with me on a day when all families were supposed to BE TOGETHER. And after having not so good experiences throughout the years (one of which is the death of my brother in 2012), my Christmas would never be the same again.

So this year, I already expect that this Christmas would no different than the previous years. I'll just lie on the bed for the whole day, maybe eat some food that I rarely buy, drunk myself to sleep, and checking the family pictures of my friends on facebook wearing their color-coded attires with a Christmas tree behind them. I wouldn't cry as one would think but you can be sure that the cold wind of a Christmas morning is as wintry as the echo of an empty heart and an isolated mind. But I can't believe that 2019 will still surprise me even though it's the last month of the year. I was looking forward to a night of seclusion but the God of surprises still have other plans for me.

Christmas Present

On the night of the 24th of December, my itinerary of items that I need to buy is completed. I'm already looking forward to a quiet night - sitting beside our main window while letting myself to be drunk (once again) and staring at the neighbor's parol. But before anything else, I have to meet first with a friend of mine in a coffee shop to pay for the art materials I owe her. As soon as we met and exchange some pleasantries, I noticed that she is carrying a big plastic bag with a box of keychains inside. When I asked why she has a lot of keychains, I told her that she will sell those to earn some extra money hoping that people will buy it. I was taken aback at this and asked her "Don't you have a Noche Buena at home?". She said that she still has a lot of time to prepare and she will still be able to celebrate with her family. She invited me to join her and since I don't have any Christmas Eve celebration at home, I decided to come as well.

Until I realized, I just found myself in front of a closed lotto outlet beside a few stores selling toys along the pavement where people and cars pass by. While we lay the keychains one by one in two thinly gift wrappers that serve as mats I asked myself, "Are we really doing this?" But when I looked at my friend and her optimism, in one big breath, I said, "Game!". It is very challenging at first to just call out random people to buy from us. Unlike some other stores which are selling toys or notebooks that can be seen from afar, ours are easily been overlooked unless you will actually stop by and come near us to see it better. After a few endless minutes of saying "Keychain kayo dyan ate, Kuya pwedeng pang giveaways sa friends", a guy came up to us and by looking at his appearance, I could tell that he is between 40-50 years old tall and physically fit. Exchanging some conversations here and there, we learned that he is a Born-Again Christian and the reason he stops by our area is because he got interested in the designs of our keychains which are bible verses. We told him that we are Catholics but thankfully he never "condemn" our faith unlike a few Christians that I encountered. I'm just happy that he didn't start a debate.

(to continue on part 2...)