"JOKE" pt.1

CLIENT: Leo, you and Gynne will be going to Australia on Oct.11-20

For some, that would be one of the greatest blessings that a new employee could ever dream of. Who would have thought that this farfetched wish can ever happen in real life? Imagine, all-expense-paid trip - a once in a lifetime experience and an opportunity to advance in your career. What more could you ask for?

But instead of rejoicing... I felt different. I got nervous. I became anxious. A trigger that spiraled me down to the pit of overwhelming depression and concern.

When I decided to "follow" God last June of this year and met my Light Group, I immediately planned my schedule for the year. The Singles Retreat, the one-on-one discipleship, and the event I highly awaited - the Jesus Encounter. I already laid it everything out to the Lord and offered this to Him. I told Him, "Lord, I'm ready."

Everything goes together as what it should be and knowing that all of my plans are for my spiritual development, I thought that there is no way that God will not allow this to happen. But as unpredictable as He is, God surprised me. It is because the day when all my plans will come into fruition is also the same schedule for my trip to Australia!

I will surely miss all of the important events that I longed to attend. The Jesus Encounter, the special meeting with our preacher and even the activities in our company that I expected.

So instead of being "fully" grateful, I threw tantrums at God like an immature child and cried out to him asking a big WHY?. I prayed but no answer came.

As I reflect on this and confide with one of my sister in the community, I asked myself:

"What is my real intention of attending the Jesus Encounter? (or the other activities that I will potentially miss?) - Is it REALLY the event itself or just the people you are going with?

As I search deep within me, I realize that it is my attachments with my brothers the main reason why I will be attending the event instead of JESUS Himself. I was so dependent on their companionship that when a great opportunity came I tumbled down so badly. The feeling of being left out overpowered me.

At that point, I felt ashamed of myself. Because the very thing that I tried to avoid is the very same thing that I unknowingly doing. I was also ashamed of God because I was putting other people in my life instead of Him.

I was covered with guilt.

I was overwhelmed with my immaturity.

I was wrong, VERY wrong.

As days become weeks, I slowly accept what God is trying to show in my situation. We maybe have different plans, different dreams to achieve but at the end of it all, He is sovereign. As I took this journey towards Him, I must surrender everything to Him no matter how bad or how good it seems to be. Because I need to learn that God has better plans for me. He is the source of all wisdom and knowledge, so what's the point of resisting? He molds and creates something out of the "raw" materials that you are giving Him. All He needs is your "YES".

And that's what I did.

As the day of my Australia trip draws near, I came to accept His plans for me. My fear of being alone has vanished once I realize that I have an omnipresent God. He is with me, BUT He is also there in that foreign country waiting for me. At this point, I simply breathed in, I breathe out and finally, I wholeheartedly say:

"Lord, thank you for this blessing. A blessing that is just a dream for someone else. A dream that someone strives to achieve but here You are, giving me this so easy. Thank you, Abba."

As soon as I said those words, I felt at peace. Ready to embark on this new journey that lies ahead. A journey full of new things to learn and experience. And as I prepare my things, my mind and my heart to this exciting trip, I didn't realize that God STILL has something in His sleeve.

A surprise that I didn't expect to happen and where I can consider the biggest JOKE God had made in my life. (cont'd part 2)

#Australia

#GodsPlan